The Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood Book Synopsis

 Hello Beautiful Homemakers!

It occurred to me that, since half of my readers are already married, we could also study the book Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood at the same time we are reading the Original 1922 Fascinating Womanhood pamphlets, because they go hand in hand.

This is not the book by Helen Andelin entitled Fascinating Womanhood. She rewrote the pamphlets and added in her own observations, Bible verses, and eventually, reader testimonials.

This book, Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood, was written by David Coory. The story I heard years ago is that his wife had taken the class in the 1960s, and he was so happy in their marriage afterwards, that he put his book into a “class” format – with Helen Andelin’s permission – and with at least 20 testimonials from her files. I am reading the updated version of the book, so sometimes you can tell that this is from the 1960’s ($25 to buy an entire outfit) and other times updated words have been used such as “laptop computer.”

For the most part I will just be reading the book straight-forwardly, only commenting when I think it is necessary to point something out.

I think the vast majority of you will enjoy this book. As with any book, there might be things you disagree with. It definitely is not politically correct, and in future chapters I will have to substitute some words so I don’t get a strike on YT. I will post the introductory chapters this month, and then will do the 10 secrets approximately one each month.

Beginning with Chapter 4, each chapter will take approximately 3 twenty-minute videos each.

During the other weeks I will be posting the Original Pamphlets, and finishing up the Bettina videos, and will occasionally throw in a Grace Livingston Hill or Louisa May Alcott story.

May God bless you as you learn and live these “secrets!”

Janine

 

All 3 illustrations are by Arthur Sarnoff.

 ALL FURTHER VIDEOS CAN BE FOUND ON MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL:

YouTube.com/@beautifulhomemaking

Go to the playlist "Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood" to listen to them easily in succession.

Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood Ch. 4

by Janineupdated on April 26, 2023

This week Angie attends her first class and learns Secret Number One. You will briefly meet the 9 other members of the class.

Some of the topics to be covered in the 3 videos are:

• Looking through a man’s eyes
• the type of woman that impresses a man
• changing your husband?
• what if he drinks and is lazy?
• or unfaithful?
• There are 2 God-given rights every woman must expect from her husband: Fidelity and financial support. If you’ve faithfully done your part as a wife, God will support you in standing up for these 2 rights. If you want to read more about doing your part as a wife, I talk about it in the post A Heavenly Marriage, Titus 2: Be Obedient, Winning Your Husband, or you can order the book, “Me? Obey HIM?” (affiliated link)
• Forgiving him for past hurts
• Looking to his good side
• Are his faults hidden virtues?
• Must you allow him his freedom?

The third video ends with your assignments, and true experiences from the FW files.

May God bless you as you complete the assignments and bless your husband!

Janine

Assignments for Secret Number One:

#1 Make a list of all of your husband’s masculine virtues using the table below. You can also add to it. Read them every morning and night. Continue this until you have committed them to memory.

#2 Forgive him in your heart for all the times he has hurt you in the past. Ask God to help you if necessary.

#3 Then say the following to your husband, touching him as you do so: “I’m glad you’re the kind of man you are. I haven’t always appreciated you in the past, and I’ve made some silly mistakes. I’m sorry, and I’m glad you haven’t let me push you around. I’m glad you’re the way you are. From now on I’m going to try to be a wonderful wife for you.”

(You can rephrase this statement with words that are more natural to you if you prefer. But do not lessen its impact.)

Masculine Virtues

Active	Agile	Alert
Articulate	Artistic	Assertive
Athletic	Attentive	Authoritative
Bold	Boyish	Brave
Brilliant	Business acumen	Calm
Capable	Caring	Charming
Cheerful	Child loving	Clean
Comforting	Confident	Conscientious
Considerate	Contented	Cooperative
Courteous	Cultured	Curious
Decent	Dependable	Determined
Devoted	Devout	Dignified
Diligent	Disciplined	Discreet
Distinguished	Dress sense	Dynamic
Earnest	Educated	Effective
Efficient	Elegant	Eloquent
Encouraging	Entertaining	Enthusiastic
Exuberant	Fair	Faithful
Firm	Fit	Flexible
Fluent	Forgiving	Friendly
Gallant	Gardener	Generous
Gentle	Genuine	Gifted
Good	Good driver	Good navigator
Gracious	Grateful	Handsome
Handyman	Happy	Healthy
Helpful	Humorous	Honest
Honorable	Hospitable	Humble
Impressive	Ingenious	Innovative
Inspiring	Intelligent	Interesting
Insightful	Jovial	Joyful
Keen	Kind	Knowledgeable
Leader	Likeable	Lively
Logical	Long-suffering	Lovable
Loving	Loyal	Lucky
Manly	Masculine	Masterful
Mature	Moderate	Modest
Money manager	Musical	Neat
Nice smile	Noble	Non-smoker
Nostalgic	Obliging	Open
Optimistic	Orderly	Out-going
Passionate	Patient	Peacable
Perceptive	Perfectionist	Persistent
Personable	Persuasive	Photogenic
Playful	Pleasant	Poetic
Poised	Polished	Polite
Popular	Positive	Powerful
Practical	Prayerful	Precise
Profound	Prominent	Prosperous
Protective	Prudent	Punctual
Qualified	Reasonable	Refined
Relaxed	Reliable	Resilient
Responsive	Righteous	Robust
Romantic	Rugged	Scholarly
Secure	Selfless	Sensible
Sensitive	Sentimental	Serious
Sincere	Singer	Slim
Sober	Sociable	Solid
Spiritual	Spontaneous	Sportsman
Stable	Strong	Steady
Strict	Suave	Subtle
Successful	Superior	Supportive
Tactful	Tall	Tender
Thoughtful	Trusting	Trustworthy
Truthful	Vigorous	Virile
Warm	Wealthy	Well-built
Well-groomed	Wholesome	Wise
Witty	Youthful	Zbest!

PS: Let me tell you a secret about YT playlists. If I have put a video into the playlist and have scheduled it to go live but it isn’t available to the public yet, you should be able to listen to the video before the public if you are accessing the video from the playlist. So, if I upload video 1 on Monday, and schedule 2 for Tuesday and 3 for Wednesday, if you are listening from the playlist, you should be able to listen to all 3 on Monday if you so choose.

Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood Ch. 5

by Janineupdated on October 5, 2023

This week we are learning all about Secret Number Two. We hear about Kathy, Cherry, Rosalyn and Donna’s true experiences, from actual letters.

In this chapter the teacher discusses:

• When a man is unaware of a fault
• Admire his masculine qualities; never wound his sensitive pride
• Why men have sensitive pride
• How a man feels when you wound it
• Wives can easily hurt their husband’s sensitive pride
• Common mistakes wives make that injure their husbands’ sensitive pride
• The power of admiration
• How to help your husband become a better man
• How to find qualities in your husband to praise and admire
• The ‘Pandora’s Box’ reaction
• True Experiences
• Love Book

Admiration is food for a man’s soul. He needs it daily!

The teacher also discusses Genesis 3:16.

I thought I’d list here SOME of the common mistakes wives make that injure their husbands’ sensitive pride:

• Criticizing his weaknesses
• Speaking angrily when he fails in a masculine area of responsibility
• Mocking or laughing at him
• Disagreeing with him on masculine matters
• Pouring cold water on his ideas
• Giving him advice when he has not asked for it
• Discussing his career or occupation as if you know as much about it as he does
• Reminding him how you struggle on his income
• Telling others how much your parents have done for you since you got married
• Admiring a masculine quality in another man
• Comparing him to your father (age makes a difference!)
• Suggesting he call a repair man when he is trying to repair something
• Not paying attention when he is telling you about something of which he is proud
• Not praising him when he does something outstandingly well
• Telling him he is losing his figure or his hair
• Holding yourself up as an example for him to follow
• Reminding him of your superior education
• Excelling him in a male-dominated sport such as athletics, golf, or swimming
• Going out to work when he would prefer that you stayed home
• Telling others that you have to go out to work to make ends meet

Assignments for Secret Number Two

1. Praise one of your husband’s masculine qualities before he goes to sleep tonight. Watch for his smile.
2. By asking questions that require long, thoughtful answers, and giving admiration, try and have your husband talk to you about a past achievement, or a future dream, for at least five minutes. (Be openly attentive and DO NOT INTERRUPT HIM WITH YOUR OWN THOUGHTS as he speaks.)
3. Every second day, sincerely tell your husband how much you admire him for one of his virtues that you listed as part of Secret Number One’s assignment. Touch him and smile as you do so. Continue doing this until you have praised him sincerely for all the virtues you have listed.
4. Write in your LOVE BOOK all the tender romantic things your husband says to you as you live FW.

May God bless you as you complete the assignments and bless your husband. The blessing will eventually return to you tenfold!Janine

Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood Ch. 6

by Janineupdated on June 19, 2023

This week we are learning all about Secret Number Three. [My computer broke last week as I was trying to send this out, so it is a week late. Sorry about that!]

We learn about Angie’s son, David, who isn’t doing well. Angie rectifies some serious missteps she made with him, especially in how she spoke to him.

Angie and the children write Ted letters.

We hear two TRUE experiences from Kathy and Marina, and two more at the end from Judy and Blossom.

An old but true saying: A good woman inspires a man. A brilliant woman interests him. A beautiful woman fascinates him. But a sympathetic woman gets him.

Secret Number Three has two parts: Make him Number One in your life. Comfort him tenderly when he is tired or discouraged.

Many women put their children and homes before their husband. But when we make our husband Number One, our children feel secure and happy, and the love between you increases dramatically. If you make him King, what does he make you?

We cover:

• Why some husbands resist having more children.
• The power of sympathy.
• The most important time of the day for the fascinating woman.
• Why a husband leaves his wife for another woman, and what she offers that you don’t.
• The great responsibility men carry.
• Why you should lovingly comfort him when he arrives home.
• Why he comes home late, and what you can do to pull him home instead of pushing him away.
• How you can become indispensable to him, causing him to tenderly love you in return.
• Why husbands seldom offer to take their wives out to dinner.
• How to comfort your husband during a severe crisis in his life. “Your husband is far more likely to come through a crisis successfully when you are fully behind him, believing in him, trusting him.”
• How Cherry, instead of being supportive as she was trying to be, actually hurt her husband’s pride.
• How she can rectify her misstep.
• When your husband confides an ambitious plan to you. (Remember what millionaire husbands said they looked for in a wife in our FW series? A woman who would bolster, not inhibit, his business plans. Video #10: A Woman Worthy of Being Won)
• What to do when your husband does something dishonest.
• What to do about an alcohol or drug addicted husband. Why is he this way?
• When you don’t love your husband any more, and what to do about it.
• Making your first marriage work.
• When your husband has been unfaithful to you.
• Chastity, your most precious gift to your husband.
• How to overcome sexual difficulties in your marriage.
• Don’t leave him deprived for too long.
• Sow the seeds of Fascinating Womanhood first.

Assignment One: At least twice during the week, greet your husband when he comes home, with a smile and looking your feminine best. Have your home quiet and organized. Make him comfortable. Listen to him if he wants to talk. Don’t speak about your day or your concerns until after he has eaten. [If this sounds ridiculous to you, be honest – do you want to hear about your husband’s day when you have just gotten off the freeway after a hard day and are hangry?]

Assignment Two: In your own words say to him, “I’m beginning to realize the great responsibility you have to provide for me (and the children). I do appreciate it. It must be a big load to carry.” [Husbands carry the load for provision even when he isn’t the sole breadwinner, just as you internally carry the failures in your home even though he has responsibility there, too.]

Assignment Three: Say to your husband, “I want you to know that you’re the most important person in my life, and always will be.” (You must really mean this and never give him a reason to doubt it in the future.) [Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.]

May God bless you as you complete the assignments and bless your husband. The blessing will eventually return to you tenfold!

Janine

Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood Chapter 7

by Janineupdated on July 5, 2023

[FYI – I have not monetized any of my videos. If you are seeing ads, it is because YouTube has the right to put ads on my videos as I am using their platform for free. One person who is watching older videos wished I would put all the ads up front and not break the flow of the content – but I have no control at all over this. Thanks for your understanding and know that I am not being “greedy” for ad revenue. I receive none of it.]

We are learning about Secret Number Four this week. We will hear true experiences from Diane and Cherry in Video 1, and Rosemary and Karen in Video 3.

“The principles of FW are true and are known to work. True and proven laws that God has given us in the Holy Scriptures.”

The secret comes directly from the Holy Bible in Genesis 3:16b, “…you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.”

And in Genesis 3:19 God told Adam, “By the sweat of your face you shall obtain your food, until you return to the ground from which you were made.” Are you taking on your husband’s role?

Unknowingly, many women take on this role only to have it backfire on them. Remember the story “When Queens Rides By”?

“The more we women take over a man’s role, the less masculine he feels and the more masculine we become.”

“Your husband’s God-given role is to lead you and provide for you. Allow him to do it!“

“Allowing our husband to lead us and provide for us BY HIS OWN EFFORTS ALONE, greatly enhances his feeling of masculinity. Remember, that’s the most pleasant feeling a man can have.”

Elsie also reminds us, “When you are in step with the world, you are out of step with God.”

It is a struggle to get by on one income in your early married years, but it is worth it! I wanted to come home the day after my wedding, but I had debt (no student loans, but a car payment, credit cards, and a mortgage). I couldn’t come home until those were taken care of (car and credit cards paid off and the house rented out). I paid off the debt in August, gave my notice in September, and had my baby in October.

As I detailed in my book, we weren’t able to get by without my income for another 4 years (I worked from home part-time). One day I begged God to help me live just on my husband’s income. I was laid off a week later!

Men, when loved by a woman who is TRUE to him and wants what is best for him, desires him, loves him, cares for him, and wants to be married to him, ENJOY having a that kind of a woman dependent on him! In fact, “the more dependent on our husband we appear to be, the more tender and caring he tends to feel toward us.”

“Financial dependency is the lovely ideal to aim for.

“When our husband provides for us alone, he becomes more confident and more masculine. We in turn become more feminine and delightful to him.

“Luxuries never bring the lasting happiness we think they will. Only living God’s laws bring us lasting happiness.”

A Woman’s God-given role: Companion, Mother, Homemaker.

A Man’s God-given role: Leader, Provider, Protector

It is a partnership.

“Both roles are equally important, but clearly different….This blurring of roles causes much strain and unhappiness. It’s the root cause of an enormous number of unhappy and failed marriages.

“To find contentment and satisfaction in our lives, we need to live our God-given roles. God has suited us to these roles.”

Women “also have a strong need to be loved and protected. And men like us this way. It makes them feel protective….When we make our man feel protective, it arouses his tender feelings. Just as tender feelings are aroused in us, when we feel protective towards a small child. And when we feel protected by a man, it awakes in us gentleness and femininity.”

“When we fulfill our role well, our husband will love us and cherish us. He just can’t help doing so. That’s the way God made him.”

In video 2 we discuss:

• A family needs a leader
• When you disagree with his decision
• Remember that on Judgment Day, God will be asking your husband to account for the state of his entire family’s souls.
• The key to our husband’s tenderness and love
• Submissiveness
• “Our husband’s heart is softened by our yielding spirit. It awakens his tenderness, his sense of protection, and most of all, his deep love.”
• Wrong decisions and mistakes
• God has placed him at the head
• “…the Lord will bless her in endeavouring to carry out his counsels….Be obedient and God will cause all things to work for good, and he will correct the errors of the husband in due time. A wife will lose the Spirit of God in refusing to obey the counsel of her husband (for greater is the sin of rebellion than the errors which arise from want of judgement).” Orson Pratt, 1840.
• “Yes, these principles conflict with modern ideas, but they are still true. And because they are true, they work.”
• How your children benefit when your husband leads
• When a wife wants her own way
• Accepting his judgement is the difference between a happy marriage and a disgruntled one. “Happiness and true love are found in warm, affectionate relationships…”
• When your husband is about to make a serious mistake
• Prayer has great power when we are trying our best to live right, and we have done all that we can ourselves.
• When a father is hard on the children
• When your husband won’t lead
• Live the first 4 secrets
• Lack of responsibility or low confidence
• A man’s sense of responsibility usually improves as he ages and has children…
• “Bible scriptures have a power all their own….Truth is powerful and has a certain ring to it that is hard to deny.”
• Genesis 3:16b
• Ephesians 5:22-25
• 1 Peter 3:1

The sensitive area of finances:

• He is hoping for appreciation and admiration when he complains. He isn’t blaming you.
• The FW teacher role plays the wrong and right response.
• Why your husband should manage and worry about the finances and bills
• “Worry dulls our feminine charm and sparkle. We become depressing to our husbands. We can’t function properly in our role. So put the worry on your husband’s shoulders. Put it where it belongs. Let him provide and manage the money. Then boost his manly confidence and watch him take care of the problems.”
• Know enough about the finances to cope alone if necessary
• How to organize the finances
• Why you should ask your husband for your financial needs
• Female pride
• “An important part of awakening that deep love in men is that we women ask, not beg, for our needs. (more about this in Secret 9)
• “….men love to buy things for women they deeply love, when they can afford to do so, and even when they can’t afford to do so. It makes them feel manly. It thrills them.”
• “A woman who supports herself, or continually sacrifices and does without, will not be loved as deeply as a woman who asks her husband for her needs. It’s better that our husband spoil us a little. Really, it is!”

• When you are better at managing the finances
• What to do when your husband continually gets into debt
• “He will be twice the man when he finally masters his weakness. Not only will he be a more successful provider, he will have far greater self-confidence.”
• Your husband has to feel like a ‘real man’ before he can love you deeply. He can’t feel that way when he has to ask you for money, or when he sees you sick with worry over not being able to pay a bill.
• A compromise plan for chronic over-spenders
• If you do keep paying the bills, he needs to see the remaining bank balance every month. It’s the only way he will be driven to seek out different ways of providing.
• Thank him for being a great provider!
• How your husband feels deep down when you go out to work
• Did he ask you to go out to work?
• Are you showing confidence in his business ability?
• “A man needs to feel that his wife depends on him, and trusts him….that he is excelling in his masculine role of provider.”
• “Almost always, a woman’s decision to go out to work worsens a marriage difficulty.”
• “A husband will always feel more of a man when he fully provides for his wife by his own efforts. A man likes to feel that you really need him…..he will love you more tenderly and deeply when you are dependent on him. It’s a big part of his masculine feeling of fulfillment….”
• Luxuries will come later, and he will love you more deeply if he can provide luxuries by his own efforts.
• When he asks you to go to work, it’s often because he is afraid to come home to a ‘Peg Bundy’ eating bon-bons on the couch and whining. If, however, he finds a happy home full of children and a wife happy to see him, he’d be happy for you to stay home.
• The most common reason married women go out to work
• Working wives and other men
• Daily working with men at their dynamic best and then coming home and seeing their husband at his weary worst can breed dissatisfaction toward a husband.
• Husbands seeing another man get the most productive hours of his wife’s day while their home life deteriorates, can breed dissatisfaction towards his wife. Husbands resent wives who say they are happy at work but then complain at night about her job, people she works with, the house, the dishes, the laundry, the meals, the children, and him.
• How children feel when their mothers work
• “We can rationalize about quality time, but what our children really need is the secure feeling of knowing that ‘Mum’s at home’ and ‘all is normal.’ We just need to BE THERE.”
• An empty house breeds insecurity in a child.
• The first four secrets are the most powerful

Assignments:

1. Draw up a ‘Certificate of Leadership’ or make some other symbol of leadership that will last a lifetime and present it as an entire family if possible to your husband. Tell him (and really mean it) that from now on, you will all follow his leadership 100%.
2. If you are managing the finances, or any other masculine role, say to your husband, in your own words, “I don’t want this responsibility any longer. It’s a burden for me. You’re a man. It’s much easier for you.”

Don’t forget to write in your Love Books!

May God bless you as you trust in Him, and in your husband!

Janine

Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood Chapter 8

by Janineupdated on July 20, 2023

This chapter covers Secret Number Five. We begin the chapter with the mother, Angie, throwing a tantrum, which she quickly regrets. We hear two true experiences from Helena and Kathy.

We discuss why men want us to be better than they are:

“Now the first four secrets we’ve learned so far, teach us how to meet our husband’s masculine needs… …broken marriages could be saved and made happy again…. Please live these four secrets class. Even if you don’t live the other six, please at least live these first four…”

“It might seem as though we do a lot of giving in FW, but the rewards are rich. We are rewarded many, many times over.”

Secret Number Five: Men deeply admire inner serenity and goodness in their wives.

“Men joke about their wives being their ‘better half.’ This is based on the truth that men sincerely want us to be just that. Men expect us to be better than them. To be more cheerful. To be kinder, more forgiving, more caring, more spiritual. They also like us to have a mysterious serenity [called bewitching languor in original FW] about us. They find it fascinating. That’s why the Mona Lisa painting stirs so many men’s hearts. But not many women’s hearts.

“No man can deeply love a sullen, resentful woman. Nor a promiscuous one. Nor a noisy argumentative one who is always yelling at the kids. No man can be happy with such a woman.

“But a cheerful, serene wife, one who is good and noble in her personality is highly attractive to a man. She meets a deep need for virtue and wholesomeness in his life. He needs such a wife to create the peaceful and feminine home atmosphere so necessary to renew his spirit. He wants such a woman as this, to be the mother of his children. And children need a mother like this, if they are to develop into warm, caring adults.

“We can be so disappointing to our husband when we lower our standards. Sometimes our husband will even test us, just to reassure himself that we’re as good as we seem. Men like to put us on a pedestal.”

We also discuss:

• Serenity is an end result of goodness
• How serenity in a woman affects a man
• How we lose our serenity
• The importance of unconditional love
• How to make good choices
• The power of negative emotions
• How to permanently rid ourselves of strong, negative emotions

We must stop blaming other people or circumstances for our problems:

• Stage One: How to permanently rid your mind of hurts other people have caused you
• Stage Two: How to permanently rid your mind of guilt for hurts you have caused others
• Stage Three: How to reprogram your mind

Assignments for Secret Number Five

Assignment One: (Stage one, Forgiveness – listen to video for the details)

Divide a sheet of paper into two columns. At the top of the left column write your own name. At the top of the right column write the name of the first person listed below.

Then under your name, in the left column write, “I now forgive _______ for this hurt:”

In the right-hand column opposite, write the first negative thought or memory that arises. Keep wirting out the forgiveness message, and opposite any other negative thoughts or memories, until no more arise and you can smile and feel love inside you for the person concerned. Pray for help if forgiveness is difficult.

Start with your Father, then your Mother, Brothers, Sisters, School teachers, Husband, Other men, Other women, Yourself, and God. [“Forgiving God” is definitely not biblical. God is not the author of chaos and evil, but sometimes we blame Him for bad things occurring. You may need to forgive God in your heart – but then ask Him to forgive you for blaming Him.]

Assignment Two (Stage two, Repentance – listen to video for full explanation)

Write across the top of a sheet of paper, “I _______ have hurt the following people during my lifetime.”

Divide the paper into two columns and list in the left-hand column the names of all the persons, living or dead, you have ever hurt. In the right-hand column briefly list the nature of the hurt. Keep adding names and using more paper as necessary, until your conscience is totally clear.

Then, below your list of names, write: “I ______ am deeply sorry and repent of all the hurt I have caused these persons. From now on I will be especially kind to these persons, inasmuch as I am able, and I will follow my conscience in the way I act towards everybody.”

Do all in your power to make amends to the the people you have hurt. For those whom you cannot make amends, ask God to bless them.

Assignment Three (Stage three, Reprogram your mind – listen to video for full details)

Begin a Goal List of five positive emotional goals. Restate your weaknesses as clear, positive, detailed goals you want to achieve. Reread morning and evening.

[These are not just ‘affirmations.’ Affirmations actually do not work. Anyone who has tried to lose weight using affirmations will confirm this. What you are doing is recognizing your weaknesses, such as, “Why do I get angry when my husband wants me to bring him a sandwich?” or “Why do I have such a short temper?” Etc. Think on it and pray about it. Then, write a goal of how you WANT to behave in the future. “I love my husband and when he is busy working around the house in the hot sun, I want to show him my love tangibly by making him a sandwich and bringing him a cold glass of water.” OR “I am a serene and loving mother who gently corrects my child when she whines.” Thinking about how to reprogram your “hot buttons” is what this goal list is about.]

[Ask Jesus for help to transform your mind. Romans 12:2 (NLT) says: Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.]

We then hear two more true experiences from Jocelyn and Teresa, from the FW success letter files.

The third video is very different in that the assignment comes at the beginning of the video instead of at the end. The rest of the chapter is about Angie completing the first two assignments and what it looks like.

I know God will bless you as you complete these “forgiving” and “repenting” assignments. It really is worth doing.

Janine

PS: Also, declutter everything that has a bad memory attached to it. It’s amazing how getting rid of the item will free your mind from the chatter it ‘speaks’ when you see it.

Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood Chapter 9

by Janineupdated on August 17, 2023

Oh my…I forgot to send out this post last week. I’m so sorry! Class continues with Secret Number 6, and we hear 4 true experiences from Kathy, Helena, Charlene and Tessa.

In the first video we discuss:

• Motherhood – the most noble and important work on earth
• the crucial early years of a child’s life
• the satisfaction of raising happy secure children
• the extra joy and satisfaction of a large family
• Never expressing regret for becoming pregnant
• Secret Number 6: Your God-given role is that of mother and homemaker. Enjoy it!
• Motherhood and homemaking is our lifelong career
• The fact that there is no lasting happiness in a career outside the home, especially when the marriage fails and home life deteriorates

In the second video we discuss:

• Do you feel guilty working, and yet guilty when staying home?
• How to avoid being bored at home
• Why women need the friendship of other women
• The need for challenge in a woman’s life
• Men’s most common complaint about their wives
• How to become organized
• What men want from their wives as homemakers
• The fact that when our husband’s love and tenderness increases for us it results in him showing us his love by helping out at home
• Over time, the cleaner we keep our kitchen and home in general, the more likely he is to pitch in and help by cleaning out the garage, picking up after himself, and even by doing the dishes
• There are so many feminine skills we can develop at home, and many of them can save us money

Elsie’s quote: The weakest ink is better than the finest memory

Video 3:

• How to be more interesting to your husband
• Men respect motherhood
• Remember your spiritual growth
• How to be treated with respect by others
• How to raise your children successfully

The 10 Rules for raising well-balanced children:

1. Allow your children to be themselves. Teach them right from wrong and discipline them, but don’t try to mould their personalities into what you would like them to become
2. Praise your children’s accomplishments, no matter how small. Praise far more often than you criticize, and never tease them.
3. Never compare one child to another.
4. Always build up the image of your children’s natural father.
5. Be fair and always keep your word, so that your children will respect you.
6. Allow your children to win against you sometimes.
7. Present a united front with your husband.
8. Never shield your children from life’s difficulties. Overcoming difficulties is how character is developed.
9. Have your children earn all their pocket money. Teach them the satisfaction of work.
10. Teach your children to pray and love God, by example.

+ Give them lots of warm loving hugs

+ Read them lots of stories, especially at bedtime

+ Be a great listener

How will you stay intellectually active at home?

• Reading
• blogging
• cooking
• baking
• drawing
• sewing or embroidery
• writing letters
• genealogy
• studying something in nature such as flowers, trees, squirrels, birds
• learning to paint or watercolor
• help a friend decorate her house
• quilt
• knit or crochet
• study history
• play games with children or the elderly
• visit neighbors
• do puzzles
• make cards

How will you stay involved with others around you?

• Teach Sunday School
• write letters
• make cards
• teach someone how to read
• go on a missions trip
• babysit
• mentor
• join a community organization (be careful it is not affiliated with the Masons)
• Ask someone to lunch after church (call them during the week; choose a new person each week; be clear if you will be paying for them or not.  If yes, then tell them it will be your treat.  If not, say, “I would love to get to know you better.  Would you like to go Dutch and have a meal together after church?)

How will you stay spiritually centered?

• Attend Sunday morning church
• Sing a capella at home
• Join a choir
• Attend a Sunday night or Wednesday night Bible class
• Pray out loud at home, or write your prayers
• Find a prayer partner to meet with once a month
• Attend Sunday School
• Attend Worship Service
• Pray over people in person, or from a list
• Send encouraging cards to family, friends, the elderly, people from church, or even those you don’t know in difficult circumstances
• Invite people to church or to join you once a month in your home
• Help out around your church building

Assignments

1. Obtain a desk-top calendar planning diary with a page for each day (or similar planning aid) and plan out your next two weeks. You might include:
• Homemaking duties
• Hobbies
• Skills development
• Spiritual development
• Exercise
• Children’s development
• School activities and holidays
• Music
• Ideas
• Shopping
• Get-togethers with your friends
• Family outings
• Holidays
• Husband-wife dates
• Meetings
• Time or outings without the children
• Books to obtain and read
• Library visits
• Birthdays and anniversaries
2. If you go out to work, list all the advantages of giving it up. Ask your husband to read the list and tell you honestly how he feels. [Don’t forget to list how much you pay in taxes from your paycheck. Most women are shocked!]

+ Be sure to go through your house and give away everything that has an unpleasant or irritating or sad memory attached to it. It DOES make a difference in how you feel in your home! Go to Clutterbug to learn about the 4 organizing styles and how to bless your family.

Be sure to watch “When Queens Ride By” if you haven’t yet done so. It teaches a very important lesson that most women do not know!

May God bless you as you step into your role as blessed homemaker!

Janine

Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood Chapter 10: Secret Number Seven

by Janineupdated on August 17, 2023

Make the most of yourself!

In this class (covered over three videos) we hear true experiences from Bev and Diane, and later Lillian and Kate. We discuss making the most of your hair, figure, and health.

• Plumpness is more attractive to a man than being too thin!
• Why your appearance is important to your husband – even though he never talks about it
• Why husband’s don’t tell you when they don’t like your haircut, color, nails, or style
• Why your body is still attractive to your husband when you’re pregnant
• Men often describe women by their hair colour
• Most men prefer longer hair on women
• Hairstyles men find highly appealing
• Why most men don’t find permed hair attractive
• Hair styling that appeals to men
• Hair coloring must look natural
• The first 5 secrets of FW are more important than the last 5
• The secret of permanent shapeliness
• Too much sitting is the main cause of weight gain
• What is the amount of exercise necessary to stay permanently slim?
• How to eat for maximum health
• Tips for life-long health
• Do your teeth hinder your smile?

Assignment One: Ask your husband to tell you truthfully, what hair length and hairstyles he thinks you look nicest in, and wear your hair that way for him.

Assignment Two: Start an enjoyable exercise program that you can continue throughout your life.

Assignment Three: Obtain some good books on nutrition. Study them carefully, and work out a balanced diet for yourself, and also your family if they will accept it. (Such as Fast. Feast. Repeat.)

If you’d like the original book of this series you can find it on Amazon here: Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood (affiliated link).

May God bless you as you take care of yourself!

Janine

Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood Chapter 11

by Janineupdated on August 31, 2023

Angela and her children visit Ted and bring him cake and gifts. Angie attends class and the ladies are all sporting new, feminine hairstyles with a few ribbons. We hear a true experience from Bev and Diane.

In video 11b we learn Secret Number Eight. Items covered are:

• Femininity which delights a man
• Does depending on him arouse his love?
• Are you a feminine woman?
• Why your smile delights men
• Should you let tender emotions show?
• What do men find unfeminine in a woman?
• We cover the enormous influence of our words
• The teacher gives 5 examples of how to rephrase our negative (nagging) words into positive ones questions and statements
• Speaking cheerfully, with a melodious lilt in your voice
• Know when to stop talking
• Men devote all their concentration to difficult tasks and get irritated with interruptions and talk
• The enchanting effect your singing can have on your husband
• Feminine mannerisms that fascinate men
• The Golden Rule: Watch what men do and do the opposite
• Why men avoid women who joke too much [this also holds true for sarcasm]
• Feminine clothing is highly appealing to men [Remember ladies, that almost all fashionistas dress in a way that repels most men. Business attire also repels men – even though we think we look so good! But men will admire a woman in a lovely, colorful, feminine dress over a tailored pantsuit, yoga pants, jeans, or baggy trousers every time. If you want to catch a certain man’s eye – the more feminine the dress the more desirable you will look – as long as you aren’t showing any cleavage, and the dress isn’t too short or too tight. Men say that a woman who does this looks desperate and by showing too much she sends the message that she is loose. If you want a quality man you must VALUE YOURSELF.]

In 11c we discuss:

• Does your make-up look natural?
• Does being dependent on your husband arouse or repel his love?
• Ask him to help you in masculine matters [For more help with how to correctly ask this – what to do and what not to do – listen to FW32; also listen to When Queens Ride By]
• Why don’t self-reliant women win men’s hearts?
• Why would you appear helpless doing a masculine task? Isn’t that deceitful?
• Are men really put off by intelligent women?
• Child-like charm in a woman of any age is delightful to a man
• Watch for his smile – a man’s smile is his compliment to you!

Assignments for Secret Number Eight:

1. Say to your husband in your own words, “Darling, I want to become more feminine for you. Please tell me the truth. What do you find the most unfeminine thing about me?” When he has told you, phrase the solution positively, then add it to your Goal List. Repeat Assignment One as a New Year’s resolution each year.
2. For two whole days this week, think before speaking, and phrase every sentence that you may say to your husband in a positive, loving way. And say it with a melodious voice and a smile. Observe the difference in his reaction.
3. Sing in the hearing of your husband at least once this week.
4. Ask your husband to honestly analyse your entire wardrobe, including footwear, nightwear, and swimwear and rate everything feminine, or unfeminine. Then discard, or plan to discard anything he finds unfeminine.
5. Have your husband choose what he considers to be an ultra-feminine dress from a pattern book, and make the dress yourself. Get assistance from another woman if necessary. Add some additional feminine touches to the dress, that your husband likes, to make it unique to you personally.
6. Have your husband take back at least one masculine task that you have been doing. You might say, “I don’t feel very feminine doing this.”

We then hear two True Experiences from Mary and Sally.

May God bless you as you level-up your feminine dress!

Janine

PS: I also talk about doing things that you enjoyed when you were five. The list can be found here: Winning Your Husband

Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood Chapter 12

by Janineupdated on September 13, 2023

[Picture is by Arthur Sarnoff] Our story continues with Angela’s home life, and we hear three true experiences from Beth, Helena, and Marina. She attends the next class and learns Secret Number Nine: To obtain your wants from your husband, just ask with a smile, as a young girl asks her father, and the teacher goes over HOW to ask for what you want.

Harmony covers respecting his position of leadership and how to avoid resentment in him, and Kathy comments on how most women make several common mistakes when they try to ask for something and end up demanding it, which stirs up resentment in both of them.

Harmony discusses how young girls get what they want from their fathers, and suggests that you simply ask for what you want submissively with a smile and a please.

Harmony reminds the class that “A man loves a woman more, when he can do things to please her, and when he can sacrifice for her.”

She covers why it is better for your husband to spoil you with what you need, and the only way he can do that is if YOU ASK for what you need. “The more our husband feels he is pleasing us, the deeper his love for us will grow.”

She next goes over a few things you shouldn’t ask for.

The next discussion is all about gifts, asking for gifts, why many men are reluctant to buy gifts, and how to show feminine appreciation. [Listen to FW29 to learn more about how to joyously and graciously accept gifts you don’t really love.]

The next video [picture is by John Gannam] begins with a discussion on why some men won’t work around the house. Harmony gives four reasons and then explains how to have your husband attend to work that needs to be done by him around the house.

She also briefly explains how to give up doing a man’s work around the house. [For more on this, listen to FW32.] She also shares how Abraham Lincoln’s stepmother Sarah got her new husband to build a floor in the cabin, whereas the first wife Nancy had to make do with a dirt floor, as a way to think about how you can express your want to your husband about a job that has been long undone.

What about if you do not like your husband’s choice while you are at the home improvement store? [And it is a great idea to always go with him if possible.] Harmony tells you to just say, “Darling, I don’t want that one.” No arguing. No opinions. No reasons. No “I think.” Just tell him what you want or don’t want.

[And if you don’t yet call your husband “darling,” start!]

This leads into how to give feminine advice (never “I think,” but “I feel”; “Have you considered?” “Do you think…would work?” etc), and how to gain your deepest, most heartfelt desires.

Assignment: Secret Number Nine.

1. Think of something you really want and deserve and ask your husband for it in a simple, direct, childlike manner. When he has agreed to it, show your appreciation in a lively, feminine manner.

We hear two true experiences from Valerie and Hinemoa.

We end with Angela going to Ted and asking him for what she wants. Will he do it?

The third video is a personal story about how I asked my husband for something expensive that I wanted, and the unexpected benefits I received because I took it to him instead of just buying it myself.

May God bless you as you practice receiving graciously, holding your tongue when you are displeased, learning to ask for what you want, and relinquishing work your husband should be doing around the house.

Janine

Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood Chapter 13

by Janineupdated on September 15, 2023

[Featured picture by John Gannam.] The final chapters. You will have to go directly to my YT channel to watch the two videos this week: YouTube.com/@beautifulhomemaking.

Our story continues with Angie and Ted, and then she attends the final FW class. Throughout the chapter she implements all she has learned during her classes. We hear a true experience from Elsie and Belle.

Then in class she learns the final secret, Secret Number Ten – Handle anger in a feminine and childlike manner.

But don’t think that FW teaches women to be doormats! Far from it! We learn that men love and respect spirited women.

Harmony discusses:

• When women have a right to be angry with their husband,
• How to express your anger in a childlike manner
• Little girls are cute when they stamp their feet, fold their arms, put their nose in the air and say “hmph,” but they are not at all cute when they scream, yell, hit, kick, and say hurtful things. That arouses anger in everyone around them.
• How to speak to your husband when you are angry
• Exaggerate your hurt as a little girl does,
• Use the ‘poor little me’ approach when appropriate
• Release your anger as soon as it arises (but in a feminine way – not an explosion!)
• Other ways of releasing anger are discussed
• What to do when your husband fails too often in an area of his responsibility
• How to handle severe mistreatment

In the second video we will learn:

• How to assuage your husband’s anger at you
• Hear him out before speaking
• What to do when your husband is irksome, ignores you, or flirts

We hear a true experience from Vivian and Joy.

The End.

May God bless you as you learn to handle anger in a new way. Be teachable. Don’t let anger destroy your marriage!

Janine