FW 23, 24, and 25: Winsome Adorables and A Beautiful Character

 

The Original 1922 Fascinating Womanhood Pamphlets

From the original 1922 pamphlet number 3 of Fascinating Womanhood, highlights (not a transcript – there is much more to the videos!) from video 23:

FW23: Healthy Thinking = Winsome Adorables.

The title of Chapter 5 is “The Real Charm and How to Acquire It.” I mention Grace Livingston Hill and I did a separate post on her books.

“How are you going to attain this wholesome state of mind? The simplest way, and probably the only way, is to cast aside every unwholesome thought as it arises and substitute for it a cheerful, tender, or holy one. Refuse to let your mind dwell on unpleasant or bitter ideas….Get rid of the unhealthy ideas by crowding them out.”

I’m not sure that I mentioned this in the video, but this lines up with 2 Corinthians 10:5, “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;…” (KJV)

When you are focusing on negative or immoral thoughts simply ask Jesus to renew your mind. He will help you! Hebrews 2:18 (NLT) tells us this, Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he is able to help us when we are being tested.

Ephesians 4 tells us in the New Living Translation (NLT): ²¹ Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, ²² throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. ²³ Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. ²⁴ Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.

“Let us not, then, by indulgence in ugly thoughts, invite this unwelcome and long-remaining visitor.”

Who and what you surround yourself with matters.

How to Build a Winning Mental Attitude

“Buoyant and kindly thoughts have exactly the opposite effect. These also assume a thousand disguises, some of the most frequent being optimism, faith, fondness, love, kindness, cheerfulness, joy, contentment, sympathy, playfulness, devotion, and enthusiasm.

“Similarly, when one of these sentiments centers in your brain, the nerves carry its influence throughout your system. But this influence, instead of being injurious, is invigorating! Instead of feeling depressed, you feel strengthened, warmed, and stimulated. And you are. Every nerve and every organ in your body is benefited.

“But the physical benefit is by no means the only benefit of healthy thinking, as will be seen upon a reconsideration of our analysis of feminine charm in chapter 3. Amelia and Deruchette were certainly not creatures of hate, gloom, and suspicion; their sentiments were of the clean and wholesome kind. They shed joy around, radiated happiness; they were vivacious, playful, the very spirits of grace and harmony; they were possessed with the most honest good humor, and had kindly, smiling, tender, and generous hearts. They could not possibly have been such winsome adorables had not their thoughts been as clean and wholesome as their persons. They could not have attracted in the least had they been irritable, resentful, envious, spiteful, sullen, or unkind. If your thoughts are unhealthy, you will be a contradiction and a fraud if you endeavor to act the part of Amelia and Deruchette. The insincerity will be too manifest to be disguised. Without healthy thinking, therefore, you cannot hope to have a lovable personality.”

When You are Most Bewitching

“Happiness in itself has a fascination that cannot be overestimated. Recall to yourself some supremely happy moment…. …

“At that time your eyes sparkled and danced; your face was eager, animated, and joyous; your voice was vibrant with rapture and happiness. And that was the moment when you were your most attractive.” …

Adding to Your Allurements

Different kinds of joy are described. Then, “Such exquisite gladnesses are what build refinement of character. Their effect in adding to your charm, though not so striking and so immediate as that of the more vivid joys, is more enduring and far-reaching. The fond softness and gentleness of your eyes, the caressing warmth of your voice, the lovely tenderness of your face, instead of being eradicated with the passing of an ephemeral emotion, will linger and linger and ultimately become permanent additions to your allurements.”

I then talk about a class I once took where a woman showed us her different astonishing “faces.”

 

FW 24 A Beautiful, Enchanting Character – Developing the Power that Wins the Heart

We are continuing Chapter 5. “Misanthropy” means hated, mistrust, or dislike of mankind.

Why Physical Beauty Fails

“All of us know women who ought to be beautiful….physically, you cannot find a flaw….Yet there is a hard expression about the otherwise perfect mouth, a suggestion of selfishness or malevolence about the eyes, of irritation on the fair forehead, or of misanthropy in the droop of the shoulders. The most shadowy hint of an unlovely character will mar the beauty of an otherwise perfect face.

“On the other hand, all of us are acquainted with women who give the impression of being beautiful, in spite of a physical flaw or two….But the flaws are not noticeable, because through them glows the radiance of an enchanting character….

“The expression reacts….the manner and the voice react just as unmistakably. In all three every emotion and sentiment is constantly being reflected, and a woman will be beautiful or repulsive in accordance with the feelings thus reflected. Be sure, therefore, that your character responds charmingly to everything about you, and your face, your voice, and your manner will do likewise.

“This does not mean that all good women are necessarily beautiful women. There are many good women who simply will not dress their hair properly, or wear becoming clothes, or take care of their complexions; others who will find occasion for gloom in everything that happens; and still others who seem indifferent or stupid. But isn’t this lack of pride, this pessimism, and this selfish indifference to others, a flaw in their characters? Isn’t the unloveliness, in these as in most other cases, due to a defect possible of elimination were their characters what they ought to be? The really beautiful character, the kind that creates an impression of physical loveliness, must, in addition to being merely good, be cheerful, tender, refined, sympathetic and proud [not the “pride goeth before a fall” haughty proud, but the “self-respect,” “innate knowledge of self-worth” proud.] Beauty of character embraces a little more than mere goodness of character.“

How to Acquire a Beautiful Character

“Do not fear that the attainment of such a character is beyond the realms of possibility. …

“What you are now going to do is to provide yourself with that hobby we mentioned in the beginning of this chapter (video FW23), the hobby that is to exclude your unwholesome thoughts. This hobby…was to be of a friendly, joyful, and hopeful nature, in order to arouse automatically in you a train of kindly and happy thoughts. What could do this better than some game that, while giving happiness to others, could be thoroughly and constantly enjoyed by yourself?”

Play This Enjoyable Game

DO NOT BE PUT OFF BY THE WORDING. It is “tongue-in-cheek” talk, e.g., “winding him around your little finger.”

Developing the Power That Wins the Human Heart

I also tell why grouchy people do not scare me. It looks like the same way I won them over is what this “game” is all about.

Start off With a Smile

You’ll have to listen to the video to understand the “game” fully.

Do not think we are “playing” with hearts here. No. Enter into the game in the same vein that little Pollyanna did when she was faced with adversity. And if you have never read Pollyanna, then it will make a wonderful bedtime story to read to yourself (or to your daughter). This affiliate link is to a 2-in-1 book, Pollyanna and Pollyanna Grows Up.

 

FW25: The Second Step to Winning Your Family’s Heart

The Second Step

“The next step in the game is finding something appreciative to say that will either cheer, coddle, or flatter the first member of the household you meet….The thing you say must not be funny or clever, however; it should merely indicate that you understand the character of this member of your household, that you genuinely sympathize with his hopes and ambitions, and that you sincerely appreciate the biggest and truest things about him. Find the thing to say that will tickle him most, but don’t spoil his pleasure by giving the slightest indication of insincerity.” …

Note that we generally think of “coddle” in a negative way “Don’t coddle me.” However, the definition in my 1927 dictionary is “To treat tenderly, as an invalid; nurse or tend indulgently; pamper.”

In the same way, “flatter” is generally a negative term – to compliment or praise insincerely. Yet look at the rest of the paragraph above. NO insincerity. Therefore, “flatter” in this sentence means “to seek to please by complimentary speech or attention.”

There is to much to write here.

I tell a little story about when I was 8 encouraging my dad.

I end this section with a little story about how far “thank you” goes with men (and husbands).

Perfecting the Art of Winning Hearts.

Practice on everyone. “You can’t begin to play it until you have studied carefully the character of the person to be played upon, and have persuaded yourself that the little defects are outweighed three to one by the good qualities.

“Find out, in every case, what these good qualities are, and then let the person know that you know and appreciate this best side of him. The thing to be appreciated is not the thing done or the word said, but the character of the person who does or says it.

“And the appreciation must not be direct flattery; your actions and your manner should be such that the appreciation is inferred rather than expressed. That makes it appear sincere.” [As it should be.]

I tell a story about the olden days before everyone had a computer at their desk and how a compliment I gave someone years before resulted in a nice Christmas gift years later.

Discovering Your Hidden Powers

Again, don’t let the wording put you off. Remember they are using “tongue-in-cheek” phrases.

“…we found that genuine beauty was attainable only through beauty of character, and that it consisted in being good, tender, refined, sympathetic, and proud. In playing this game, smiling your sympathy, and showing your appreciation for everyone you meet, you are developing just such a lovely character.

“There is nothing better, more cheering, more refined and sympathetic, than searching for the good qualities in everyone you meet and showing your appreciation of them. You can’t do this and remain a pessimist; you can’t do this and continue envious, sulky, or cynical.

“Those inveterate betrayers of character, your lips and eyes, will quickly take on a new tenderness, a new softness and sweetness, that ill improve your facial beauty incalculably. The hard expression about the mouth and the indifferent glint about the eyes will vanish….

“Your voice and your manner will lose their harshness, indifference, or timidity. If supplemented by a wholesome self-respect and a pride in your appearance that will insist always on showing yourself at your best, the effect will be as perfect as you can humanly make it.

“In addition, the sane and buoyant thinking thus indulged in will promote your health and give you a magnetic personality.”

This pamphlet describes a “leveled-up” woman. Most people do not do this. It is truly a hidden power for women who do.

Your new look will include a lovely new radiance and ready smile.  These are all feminine, fascinating ways that are quashed out of many women, but men (and women) will immediately resonate with your soft and quiet ways and your new inner glow. 

May God bless you as you become a “winsome adorable” and keep developing a beautiful character!

Janine