FW 3.6 and 3.7: Your Clothes Say It For You + Charming, Contented, and Gracious

 

The Original 1922 Fascinating Womanhood Pamphlets

 

We are ending Pamphlet 3 Chapter 6 of the original 1922 Fascinating Womanhood pamphlets with these two videos. The picture will change on the video every 1.5 to 2 minutes or so.

FW3.6: Your Clothes Say It For You

I don’t say this in the video, because I didn’t find this quote until after recording it, but thought it appropriate to mention it here. Elizabeth Rice Handford wrote, on page 16 of Your Clothes Say It For You, “We may err in our judgment of the outside. We may make a wrong decision about what the person is really like on the inside. Nevertheless, we do judge people by how they dress, and probably have some foundation for doing so.”

But before we get into a long clothes discussion, the video will be covering:

Winning Without Money

It goes hand-in-hand with what we learned in Video 3.4 and 3.5. Be sure to spend some time people-watching at a mall or other crowded area. Self-confidence is in the posture.

“They are thinking not of the absence of your money, but of the absence of your pride and self-assurance. … If you yourself didn’t think of your poverty, and thus let it affect your manner and your appearance of assurance, the fact that you are not as fortunate as they would seldom cross their minds…..”

I also talk about what happened when I walked into a new church for VBS and no one said a word. Eight women were all silent until I said….

Anne had self-composure and confidence even before she received her coveted “puffed sleeves” which were the fashion rage of her time.

Your Clothes and YOU

Around the 13 minute mark I begin talking about clothes and what they say about you, along with hints and tips. Too many women look dowdy, like Dorothy here in The Enchanted Cottage. For more beauty hints from this movie, read here about how Dorothy went from the first picture, to the middle, to the last.

At the same time, remember that we never want to look like Miss Desperate here in yellow. Her cleavage screams, “Desperate. Biological clock ticking.” Her choker sends the wrong message, “I will be your slave. Lead me around on a leash.” Her “bandage” dress is too tight and revealing. The majority of women do not look great in a bandage dress – and even if you are 20 and you do – you still shouldn’t. You will look back on this fashion choice in chagrin.

You don’t need to advertise your body. And you don’t need to advertise for a fashion house with logos on your clothes. You are not a walking billboard. Encourage people to look into your eyes, not your cleavage.

I also discuss what message you are sending when you wear animal prints.

Different outfits send a message: Elegant, comfy, refined, classy, homemaker, mother, casual elegance, classic comfort, modest and beautiful. Not a desperate looking woman among them.

 Pantsuits and other masculine attire also send their own message.

Now how are you dressed? Jeans? Sweats? House dress? Sun dress? Do you have your jewelry on? Is your makeup done nicely? Does your hair still look nice? If someone came to the door right now, would you open it wide with a smile, or cringe that you look like you are sick or just woke up?

How do you want to portray yourself? What message do you want to send?

FW3.7: Charming, Contented, and Gracious

Overcoming Social Barriers

“Let us supoose that your particular handicap is not the consciousness of poverty, but the consciousness of your lack of education or of social training….

“You may depend upon it, that your mistakes will in 99 cases out of 100 pass unnoticed if you don’t call attention to them by your embarrassment.”

How to Be a Charming Talker

“Or perhaps your trepidation is due to the fact that you are not a good conversationalist….you simply can’t find a thing to say….

“Mind you, we maintain that it is wholly unnecessary and superfluous for you to be a conversational star; but if you think you must be one in order to be accepted socially, there is probably no other cure for you.

“Becoming a conversationalist, like becoming anything else, is a matter of practice…” [And they tell you how to go about it.]

From Rachel Greenwald’s book, Why He Didn’t Call You Back, she had a great list of 20 Questions to ask your date so that he won’t yawn. Here’s a few:

• What was your favorite toy growing up?
• What’s the best gift you ever gave someone?
• Where do you want to visit outside of this country?
• When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
• What was your worst job?
• What’s the best advice anyone ever gave you?
• What is your favorite board game?
• Where would you like to live?
• What was your best birthday?
• What was your favorite Halloween costume?
• What is the bravest thing you’ve ever done?
• What was your most fun vacation like?
• What is the luckiest thing that ever happened to you?

The Way to Self Confidence

“…you are not to think meanly of yourself. …the second half of the rule for maintaining perfect pride, that is, not to think meanly of others. If you have taken to heart the lessons in Chapter V (videos 23-25), you have already made great progress in this direction. The game of winning hearts outlined in that chapter will prove invaluable to you…”

The Secret of Success in Society

“Remember that everyone is a human being, entitled to respect and reverence as such, and that there is not on earthy anything nobler, finer, and lovelier, than a human being.” [The opposite of misanthropy.]

The best way to indicate the high respect you have for people you meet is to make a sincere effort to win their own respect for you. “The most flattering and agreeable thing you can do for anyone you meet is to show a genuine delight in hid or her society, and to endeavor, at the same time, to make others share your delight [in them].”

Emerson said, “…The favorites of society and what it calls its whole souls, are able men, and of more spirit than wit, who have no uncomfortable egotism, but who exactly fill the hour and the company, contented and contenting, at a marriage or a funeral, a ball or a jury, a water party or a shooting match.”

In the same way, apostle Paul said in Philippians 4:11b (NIV), “…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.”

Now study the picture: Which woman do you like the most? Why? Dislike the most? Why? Do any of the clothes say, “haughty”? Poor? Wealthy? Elegant? Dowdy? Refined? Why? Who looks the shyest? How can you tell?

I talk about being pleasable and receiving gifts graciously and joyously, and what to do when you receive something you just don’t like.

One Christmas I received a really ugly purple-grayish bathrobe. I was surprised and my first thought was to blurt out, “Why would you buy me such an ugly bathrobe?”

Thankfully I didn’t! Instead, I said, “I love how soft this bathrobe is. What made you decide to buy me a bathrobe?”

He said that he thought I needed a new one. I only wear the one I have when I am sick – and I received it when I was 12! Then he said, “I called you about choosing a color, and you chose lavender.” This was NOT lavender! He showed me what it looked like online. It was beautiful! So we donated this one and he bought another one in a different color.

I’m so thankful I accepted the gift graciously!

Teach your children how to accept gifts joyfully by wrapping up a tube of toothpaste and have him or her find good things to say about it. The skill will come in very handy over the years!

At my child’s 10th birthday party I wrapped up a pair of pajamas and upon opening it the person sitting next to me said, “Oh, he’s going to groan about that.” But no, he looked at them and said, “My favorite kind of pajamas!” She was shocked. I wasn’t. He can find the good in any unexpected present he receives.

To recap Pamphlet Three:

• Get plenty of sunshine, water, sleep, supplements, and healthy food
• Stay mentally healthy by knowing what you stand for and not tacitly comply with the world by staying silent
• Be joyous, sympathetic and kind
• Don’t complain
• Shake off slights by other people; don’t take things personally, they are just having a bad day
• Fill your mind by reading good literature, and the Bible
• Learn self respect and proper pride
• Be filled with grace
• Be agreeable; is it really such a big deal?
• Pretend you are dating when out with your husband; close your eyes when he drives, if that is necessary for you to not direct him
• Receive graciously
• Take care of yourself. You must have self-care, but not be selfish. Do you know the difference? For example: Going to the gym for you is self-care. But if your child has to go to the care center of the gym and she hates it, then you’ve crossed the line into selfishness. You must instead find a way to exercise without infringing on your child’s time, needs, or wishes. A nature walk, or going to a park where your child can play and you can exercise nearby would be a better alternative. Find a park that will accommodate you both!
• Don’t micromanage your husband or get on his page. That will only create anger and resentment for both of you.
• Take baby steps towards who you want to become.
• Pray to become the woman God wants you to be.

May God bless you as you develop charm, contentment in all things, and live graciously.

Janine