Self Care, Selfishness, and Sex

 What makes you smile?  What does a husband want most from his wife (even more than sex!)?

I do hope that all of you who are currently in a relationship, especially if that relationship isn't doing well, have hopped on over to take LauraDoyle.org's Adored Wife Challenge this week (8/19/24 - 8/23/24).

If you missed it, I highly suggest listening to her podcasts on YT (or by going to her website), or reading her book The Empowered Wife (affiliate link).

I also mention Lydia Sherman over at https://homeliving.blogspot.com/.  On YouTube just search for Lydia Sherman, or even Homemaker's Radio  https://www.youtube.com/user/LadyLydia1000 .

Other resources I mention are Dana K. White's books Decluttering at the Speed of Life, and How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind.

Jennifer Flanders website is LovingLifeatHome.com and her books are Love Your Husband Love Yourself Embracing God's Purpose for Passion in Marriage and 25 Ways to Communicate Respect to Your Husband.  The flyer I read is found here:  https://lovinglifeathome.com/2012/09/21/7-reasons-to-prioritize-sex-in-marriage/ .

In the video I cover when Self Care crosses the line into Selfishness.  After I post every video, I always think, "Now why didn't I say this?"    

I want to clarify that if your children enjoy being left with a friend, sitter, or neighbor, that isn't selfishness.  I am specifically talking about when your little children need you, haven't seen enough of you, and are crying when you leave because they need more TIME with you.

I also cover my old Self Care list and the one I made this week.  Some women have a very difficult time knowing what makes them happy, relaxed, and joyful.  Your list may look radically different than mine.  Maybe yours has horseback riding, or just dancing in your living room.

I go over a fun lession I did with my Christian sisters called Eliminate the Hurry, the games we played, and how the leader transferred what we thought, acted, and said during the 3 games into how stress affects our life and the easiest way to combat it.

Luke 12:31 is the Key to getting more done each day with peace, love, and tranquility.  (Wait, isn't peace and tranquility the same thing?)  However, on the video I actually quoted Matthew 6:33, which says the same thing, but has three additional words.

I suggest that you pick up your Bible.  The book of James is always an interesting book to read!  Click here to read the first chapter of James and then keep on going.

Pray for God to help you distinguish between what is Self Care and what is Selfish, and to be more open to your husband's advances, which will heal both your body and your home.  I love what Jennifer said, "Sex does for a marriage what good landscaping does for a house — it adds beauty and protects the foundation."

Now go figure out what puts a SMILE on your face.  Over this next week, write down 20 things you can do that are for your own pleasure.  Some will be small, 10 minute pleasures.  Others might involve an entire day.  Just write it down.  We give so much to others (as we should - God created us to be nurturers), but our husbands want a wife who is brimming full of JOYFULNESS, and if we do not cultivate JOY as a way of life, we can become big, old, frowning, hysterical, blaming, yelling, grumps.  

 

What things put a smile on your face when you were a child?  Would it put a smile on your face today, too?  If so, then put that on your list!  

I'd love to hear if you are taking a childhood JOY and putting it onto your self care list to do now, alone, with a friend, with your spouse, or with your children.

Remember where we get our strength.  The JOY of the LORD is our STRENGTH!

May God bless you, beautiful homemakers, as you put HIM first, and begin to intersperse little pleasures into every day.  That is self care, and it doesn't need to be selfish.

Janine

PS - UPDATE! This is what I just read on Susan Branch's blog:   

"...we’ve always been clothes-on-the-line people; because hanging things like sheets and dishtowels and quilts out to dry is one of the simple joys of life. You get to be outside with the wind and sunshine and trees. And the smell of fresh air permeates everything. And then you are overwhelmed with all the gratitude that those things provide. Because we’re HOME, where even the tea kettle sings from Happiness."

SEE?  Some people really do have laundry as self care!!!!

 

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